Down and Up again

I'm at that point where I feel like giving up, have no idea what I'm doing, have lost the passion for what I am fighting for; basically just feeling that life sucks. Big time. I'm just tired of everything and I always wish I could go back to when times were much simpler, less stressful, and when life was more in control. Or was it?

On Sunday, the church bulletin had a note from the pastor. It was such an uplifting short (but definitely sweet!) write-up. I was reminded that I was not the only one who has had horrible time down in the dumps. The verse he quoted was 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 in which it says

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (NIV)

Certainly, God does give us comfort! And many times I ask God why I have to go through times like these. It is through times like these that I am able to use it to glorify God, as it later says in chapter 12 verses 9-12.
I can also use my experience and the comfort I received to comfort others when they are feeling the same way.

The pastor also brought up Psalm 42.

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

⁸ By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

I can see how much it reflects my life at the moment! As the psalm suggests, I will put my hope in God and will still praise him! "Blessed be Your Name" by Matt Redman also reminds me to bless the Lord in every circumstance.

It is a great reminder to submit everything to God and trust that He will bring me through it!

Praise be to God!

Although I still feel like it's pretty unmanageable, I believe that I will be guided and led by Christ through this storm of life.

:)

M&M

Nope. I'm not talking about the coloured chocolates with really adorable mascots. Anyway, they are M&M's. With an apostrophe s at the back. :P


Recently, I began the second semester of the year. The first semester was not a bad one really. And I thank God for the good results He has blessed me with.
I haven't actually gotten down to update the blog. Here, let me tell you why.

Right through the semester, I was really busy. And then the busy-ness continued on into the holidays. The only time i "got a rest" was during a 5-day camp which I really enjoyed myself in.

People keep wondering why I was so busy during the holidays. Well, I was spending a lot of time socializing. Spending a lot of time with friends. Doing various stuff. I personally said yes to them because it was sort of like an accountability issue. I am accountable for and to many people. Whether they are directly here with me or elsewhere in the world, I made it a point to catch up with them, and if possible spend some time doing some activities with them.

Also, I got very involved with the Christian group on campus. The camp and other activities. I realised that I did not get much rest for myself.

Those times were pretty hard as well. Apart from the camp, I felt that God was pretty far away. I mean, I was pretty far away from God. I think I was being too much of a Martha.

In Luke 10, Jesus goes to the house of Mary and Martha.

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I was too busy making sure that I caught up with people, making sure that everyone was alright. Like Martha, I was ensuring that everything was in place for everyone, without thinking too much about myself. I had forgotten to take time of and sit at Jesus' feet and just be still and wait upon him. 

I am currently trying to space out and find time to really sit at the feet of my Lord. For indeed, being in the presence of God is definitely better than taking care that everything is in it's place. 

Who do you resemble?

God of Wonders

It's amazing how God works! Twice in a week! I prayed about a particular thing and the next day God answered my prayers!

God ALWAYS answers prayers.

Sometimes we expect the answers from God to be immediate. Well, they are. Only answers may differ. God may say yes, and we will know it straight away.  God may say wait. That is when it seems like God is taking a long time to answer that particular prayer. And when God says no, it is immediate as well, but may be through a particular event or something like that which we don't realise it is God speaking to us. It's mainly because it's not the answer we are looking for.We're not satisfied with the answer given by Him therefore, we assume that God has not answered it yet. But if we step aside from out pride, we will definitely notice that God does answer us immediately. It's only whether we can see it or not. So let us ask God to help us notice His answers without letting our pride get in the way.

I LOVE YOU ENOUGH....

Well, Valentine's day is around the corner. I may not have someone special to bring me out, but I still want to share the love around. This post is dedicated to all the people I love for the various reasons listed :)

I LOVE YOU ENOUGH...
.... to correct you when you're wrong
... to convict you of your wrong
... to confront you even though no one else wants to
... to ask you how your day was
... to take care of you when you're sick
... to nag you even though I know you don't like it
... to tell you what is wrong and what you've done wrong
... to tell you my mistakes so you won't repeat it
... to give you advice even though you won't take it
... to let you yell at me even though I don't like it
... to tell you when you should be getting enough rest
... to share with you my joy even though I know you think I'm bragging
... to share with you the love of my Redeemer
... to share Jesus with you, so that you will not perish
... to argue with you about little petty stuff
... to let you hurt me even though it would scar me for life
... to let you insult me
... to let you talk on and on about yourself
... to tell you in the face what I do not like about you
... to help you even though I never liked you
... to let you pour out your problems to me
... to lend you a shoulder to cry on
... to help you do your work even though I am tired
... to let you scold me even though it wasn't my fault
... to let you stab me in the back and not bother about it
... to let you call me names and not call you back
...to share my feelings with you 'cos i trust you
...to use my energy to talk to your closed ears
... to cheer you up when you're feeling down
... to share my food with you even though I'm hungry
... to lend you money and not ask it back from you
... to let you win the game even thought you would have to cheat
... to tell you how much I dislike the company you mix with
... to let you know your attitude displeases me
... to help you in your school work even though I have my own things to do
... to let you go even though I really want you
... to play with you even though I'm busy
... to let you use me even though I don't like it one bit
... to let you know that I LOVE YOU

Learning From 2012

As the year draws to a close, it really is a wonder when I look back at the past year. Yet another year has gone past and this year was not an uneventful one. Indeed, it was a pretty tough year, but definitely not without any lessons to behold. If we could all just stop and smell the roses and look back on the past year, I’m sure that you will find that somehow or other you have found yourself learning something which took part in building your character. Life is an unending journey of learning. I’d like to share some of the important lessons I’ve picked up along the way this year.

1     Never stray from God

Easier said than done. Seriously. I know how it feels like being away from God. And it sucks. Big time. It has been a pretty busy year for me and I actually allowed other things to take priority in my life. Spiritually, it was the most exhausting year. When you slide down the hill, it is so hard to get back up again to where you were. There were moments when I felt it was so dark and I was just too far away from God. The feeling gave me a realisation that I’ve been taking my relationship with God for granted for too long. A relationship is meant to be a two way thing. Since God keeps His part of the covenant, I should keep mine too.

2       God is forever faithful

Even in my darkest moments, I knew that God will bring me through. Psalms 23 is the best passage to remind us of how God is always there for us even when we “walk through the valley of the shadow of death”. Another thing is that God has brought me through this tough year. It is truly by His grace that I made it to the end of 2012 alive. No, I’m not talking about the speculated Mayan end of the world. Honestly, if it weren’t for Christ the Saviour in me, I think I would have just called it quits at some point during the year.

3       Godly friends are essential in your life. Hard to find, hard to forget.

I thank God for the friends I have who were there for me through this year. Godly advice is really what we have been giving each other since we knew each other. I really thank God for blessing me with people who really care for you and will set aside time to wait until you chill. Thanks to you guys if you read this! You know who you are! Love you to the max! :DD <3

4       Don’t let negativity influence you.

A lot of negative thoughts are really bad for you and they bring you down. I’ve never had so much negative comments before, so it kind of had a part to play in my bringing down of myself this year. But like I said, God was faithful to bring me through. It’s always better to stay away from the people who keep feeding negative thoughts to you before you become depressed and go crazy.

5     Sometimes the things that irritate you the most are the things that will protect you in life.

Like mum’s nagging. Or a safety harness. I recently went to a theme park where you have to wear safety harnesses as you overcome obstacles which are hanging a few feet, at the minimum, above the ground. The safety harness was really getting in the way at times. But, I knew that without the safety harness, I would be in big danger of losing my life.

6       No fear is too big for God.

I really thank God that I am slowly overcoming my fear of height and water! I managed to overcome the obstacles in the theme park I mentioned. At first, I was really terrified when I first saw how high we were. But after a while, I was dying to do more! I also am learning how to swim again. Although not the proper way, but at least I’m in the water again.

7      Focus on your goal

When you focus on your goal, working towards it seems easier. Just like when I was hanging about 20 feet up in the air, tackling the obstacle, I kept looking at the next platform. It made the experience more fun and exciting, instead of tiring.

           Keep calm and wait upon the Lord

Really. Just be still and let the Lord do His will. In all my tests and exams, I did just that and rested in Him. I got results better than I ever expected.

9       Be thankful for everything

The point speaks for itself. The more thankful you are, for good and bad times, the happier you are.

I’m sure there’s a whole new exciting year ahead. 2013, here I come :D

Blessed new year to all :D

God bless :DD

Reconstuction in Progress

Three months since the last post is a waaayyy loonnggg time. At least that's what I think. Well, inspirations haven't been coming lately. Mainly due to the fact that I lost control. Of my life. And yet, there are other times when I get some really good inspiration to write something BUT it's too late for me to turn on the computer lest i get a severe headache the next morning.

I like to think that my life is like a house. Or maybe a building if you prefer. If we abandon a building for a long time, wild shrubs tend to grow all over the place. Vines and creepers and all sorts of wild plants grow. Some creepy creatures and small wild animals make that place their refuge. And then one day you decide to go back to that building to look for something you have left there for many years. More like a treasure buried in the middle of the building. You try to cut through the growth but it never seems to end. Too many years of not clearing has left it too thick to pass through with just a normal sickle in hand. The only way to get in is by calling the construction company to bring in their wrecking ball because if you were to cut through anyway, the house may collapse on you. You are sad because that structure had held you for many years before you left it abandoned. But to get that treasure back, you had to do it. Also, you could start anew after that. Then, when the building is finally brought down, you are able to access the treasure. AND you are able to start a fresh. Reaffirming the foundation. Giving the structure stronger beams for better support of the house. But it takes a long time. Months or even a year or two. And that was only the exterior. The interior is just another story altogether.

SO, the point of the illustration? Well, for many months my life in Christ was laid stagnant. My walk with Him seemed dead. No more nice genuine long walks, talking and listening to Him. Till I completely lost it. I felt I was going crazy. To tell you the truth, I nearly went into depression. The communion I once had with Him was like the treasure stuck in the middle of the house. Assignments and other things were like those wild plants and shrubs, growing so thick that my strength alone could not conquer. Till I couldn't take it anymore, I let God's construction company takeover. Tore my life apart. Brought my world crashing down. And now, it's being built back again. Slowly, but surely, it's reconstruction in progress. ;)

Unchanging love

I was doing my work and randomly listening to songs on YouTube and I happened to click on this song.
 


The lyrics are as follows (obtained from here):

You have my heart
And I am Yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock
The one I hold on to
You are my song
And I sing for You

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still you make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

I will praise You
Praise you God of earth and sky
How beautiful is your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love

Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love

 The coloured words really struck me. God has everything to care a bout in this world. He has to take care of every single one of His creation, and yet, He will always have time to listen to us when we call out to Him. In the Bible, we see numerous times that when God's people call out to Him, He will always answer them. He always has the time for us no matter what.

But not so with us. We seem to give all sort of excuses when it is time to meet with God. Why do we not have time for our King of Kings? More often than not, we allow the things of our day crowd our schedule until we have no time for God. Our priorities become all mixed up. We leave the free time in our lives for God. We tend to let our social networking time become our priority in our lives and leave God the bits of free time left in our daily lives. Then we complain that we have not enough time for God. And then we complain that we are moving further and further away from God. Well, God has always been there. It is us who haven't.

I think it is time we start rescheduling our lives and rearrange our priorities. God doesn't have any excuses for us. So why do we have excuses for God? He always show us unfailing love. Where's ours for Him?