If life were a movie...

... i would rewrite whatever has happened this year. yes, i do wish i could rewrite history. but hey, let's be realistic. we can't. instead, all we can do, is to look back through the year and count our blessings, learn from the mistakes and look forward to doing better. i really have learned a lot this past year, as always.

through out the year, i learned to seek God in a way different than before. i had to really depend on His divine strength, as i could not and would not have made it through if not for Him. i understand better what it means to rest in His Grace. to be honest, it is not as easy as some might think it to be. it's really when you're pushed to your limits, far out of your comfort zone, that you realize that your strength will definitely fail. again and again, 2 Corinthians 12:9 comes to mind.

besides that, i was given the opportunity to lead a number of Bible studies. it made me see things in a way i have never seen before. it's always exciting to re-read God's Word and see what treasures you find each time. there were also a lot of things that i learnt from different places about God's word, like reading well-known Bible stories, but looking at them through new eyes. it's really amazing what you can see from a different perspective!

another thing i learned this year was that God's timing is always perfect. i may seem like a very patient person, but believe me, i can very impatient when waiting for God's timing sometimes. and each time He give me things at the right time, i am very ashamed.trusting God is something that i really need to work on, and He has proved that i cannot do things alone according to my own will. Lord, not my will but Yours be done.

this year, God has amplified my weak points in my life, and i can see Him working in and through me in those areas. sometimes there are painful methods, but i know that i will come out refined, and it is because God loves me that He disciplines me (Hebrews 12:5- 6;11). there were so many times when i would go for Bible study or sunday church service and there's just something in the message that hits home hard.

my eyes were also opened to who are really true brothers and sisters in the faith who are not afraid of humbly coming and pointing out things which may not be pleasant in God's eyes. i also see that my patience, if driven to the edge, can run dry. this amplifies the awesome-ness of God's unending patience! to think that He is waiting for the whole world to turn to Him! how painful it must be for him.

one very important thing i learnt this year is how costly God's Grace is and how blessed i am to have received it and not fall under His wrath. as i share the Gospel with a number of people this year, and i see them rejecting the gospel, i realise i have done nothing and cannot do anything to get it. i do not feel angry at all that these people have rejected it. instead, i feel very sad for them! i pray that in God's kindness and mercy, this was just the beginning of their journey in God's grace; that a seed has been planted and in due time will sprout and grow.

i have been to more camps this year and have learned so many things. i am really thankful to God that i have the chance to do so. of course, i get to make new friends, but ultimately, i get to learn more about the awesome God we have! it's actually really hard to try and summarise every thing into a small paragraph, as there is just so much to share!

i have been exposed to so much this year and have learned so many priceless lessons that it's too long for me to write it down! if you're really interested, please do meet me in person and i would be more than happy to praise and give glory to our God by sharing what He has done in me!

i am definitely looking forward to the following year and see what plans God has in store for me!

have a blessed 2015 :)

(Almost) as stubborn as a mule

when will i ever learn? to fully put my trust in God? it's been countless times that He has shown me the path to take, all in His time. each time i rely on my own strength, i regret i did not wait for His direction. of course, i'm not the only one. neither am i the first. already at the very beginning, adam and eve decided that their way was better than God's.

so, i was told to follow-up with someone who had come to one of our outreach events and responded by saying that she is interested in knowing more about Jesus. without knowing, the person who allocated me this girl just passed me her contact details and encouraged me to have a chat with her and maybe invite her along to one of our weekly session. and by God's appointment, it was someone who was living close by and i knew her! that made it easier. however, i was not without problems.

i'll admit and say that, although i have followed-up with people before, most, if not all of them, were Christians. and so, there i was, cracking my head to think of ways to start a conversation with this girl, as i didn't know what to say without making things awkward. what made matters worse was that i knew who she was, but i had never really spoken to her before. and i can tell you that i've failed many times in the past. besides that, the introvert me does not like to start conversations with people, more so people who i don't really talk to. so i asked God for help. i knew my time was short and i had to act fast. and being a person who worries quite a bit, i prayed quite hard for it. although, God doesn't answer our prayers based on how much we pray. He answers according to His will and what is good.



no prize for guessing, God answered by using something else that He had led me to be in charge of. when i was first asked to take charge of orgainisng a weekly badminton meet, to be honest, i was kind of reluctant as i would have just finished classes and would have to rush over to the courts to oversee things. right after would be the weekly sessions we have. and it is really quite tiring for me, especially since i do not have the strength i used to when i was in high school. i know i sound old, but believe me, i am not kidding you that i actually feel like that. i do not like it one bit as it limits my capabilities of doing a lot of things, but oh well, we do not have perfect bodies. (i can't wait to get a perfect body!) anyway, this girl started the ball rolling by asking me about it. and i took it as my cue. previously, i would have been such a chicken and picked up the hint but not act on it. however, i knew better this time. i asked for an opportunity and here it was in my face, i wasn't gonna let it go. so i started chatting with her a bit and invited her eventually for lunch the next day. it was cool that we had a free time at the same time! how rare is that!

and then there was the next problem i faced. again, i relied on my own strength. i kept thinking that night about what to talk about the next day. i know that a lot of times when i am with someone i just met, the conversation is gonna stop halfway with no topics to talk about. i, for one, suck at carrying conversations. again, i asked for God's help. God keeps His promises and will not leave us alone. especially when we carry out His will. He will guide us. we just have to listen and follow. just like a potter's clay, i decided to let Him do His work in and through me. and so, lunch came. i was astonished that we did not stop talking. we did not run out of things to talk about! although we didn't talk much about Jesus as per se, i know that that was just the ice-breaker to warm both of us up for what is to come. and the end of it, i asked her if she would like to explore the Bible. her facial expression was priceless. her face lit up at the sound of it and said that she would be more than happy to. as the quote says above, i cannot wait to start exploring the Bible together with her to see who Jesus is. we've had our share of food for the body. now's the time for food for the soul. of course God's in control and He is the Leader. can't wait to see where He'll lead me to. how to run these exploration sessions.


⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)


⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

 Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)


 Lord, forgive me for not relying on You and Your strength. please lead me here on and help me to listen and obey Your voice. Amen.

I would like to apologise as this post is a month late. However, I would sitll like to thank God for the past half a year anyway.

This first half of the year has been extraordinary. It started with a message of a pastor who has the gift of prophecy. He didn't directly prophesy upon my life, but his message that day spoke to me a great deal. It was the first (and hopefully not the last) time I went to the church he is pastoring. That day, he spoke about how we should seek God. As he spoke, I knew that my theme for this year would be "A Year of Seeking God".

Throughout the next few months, I see myself wanting to seek God more than ever. I hungered and thirst for Him more than ever. If you have been following my blog, in 2012, I did experience a fall in my relationship with Him. Last year, I started picking up again. But this year, there has been a surge. I enjoy it. It's almost as if I am back to where I was with Him in my relationship with Him. Although it's still a along way more, it feels good to be able to communicate as before.

Through seeking God, there have been many things learnt. Through Bible studies, or church or sharing of other people; even camps and seminars that I've been to in the past months have been really helpful in making me think about God more.

It's great to be seeing things from the eyes of God again. I'm glad that I'm strong enough myself to encourage other people again. And I'm happy that I'm willing to give with a cheerful heart, to bless people and see them smile, and be joyful doing it, instead of doing it reluctantly. It's great to be able to trust in Him to provide enough and within His timing. It's also interesting to see how certain things that were unclear last year became clearer this year after it was put into view. There were many "oh!!! so THIS is what THAT was for!!!" moments. I'm still learning to trust Him completely in certain areas, I know He is working with me on that.

There's just too many things to list down here. But, I know that the theme was apt and the second half of the year is gonna be even better. I can't wait for God to show me more as I seek Him even more!

To the one I call MOM

Here's to spending the second Mother's Day away from you

Here's to waking up in the night:

·         to feed me, 

·         to nurse me when i'm sick,

·         wondering if I'm okay so far away

Here's to waking up early:

·         to prepare for the day,

·         to prepare me for school,

·         because you’re used to it already

Here’s to the meals

Here’s to the lessons you’ve taught me

Here’s to the quarrels

Here’s to the nagging

Here’s to the tears and prayers

Here’s to you mum

Once in a while I watch this video and think back to a time when I had you to remind me of all this

Although I’ve been pretty much an independent person, it still is nice to have someone to wake you up in the morning, instead of having to get up to the alarm clock. It’s nice to already have the water boiled when you go for breakfast. It’s nice to have meals ready-to-eat after a long day at school. It’s nice to have someone be proud about. “My mum’s the best cook/baker in the world”. Through trial and error, I still cannot get the same taste as your dishes and baked goods have. (btw you still need to learn char boh chor’s ang mor tau ewe and chio hwa recipes!! and maybe if there is inchkabin??)

 I recently found a song that kinda says what I want to say.

The lyrics are written by a man, but still I can relate to most, if not all, of what he says. I hope josh would one day be able to sing this song to you

They say a man loves his woman the way he loves his momma
It’s true.
So I wrote this song to thank you for teaching me to love
her like I do.
I know you haven’t seen me lately
And this hotel room ain’t quite like bein’ home (No place like home)
I know you pray for me daily
So the Lord has never left me all alone.
Honestly, I don’t know how ya do it.
You are the bomb dot com
When people ask “Is that Superwoman?”
I just reply and say, “No, that’s my Mom.”

chorus:
I just wanna tell you
While we’re here together.
Thank you for raising me
When friendships have faded.
And life gets complicated.
Still got my family.
Oh Momma,thank you for loving me.

See my mom’s a beautiful woman
I swear she only looks like 32
And she says her boys are good-lookin’
And there’s nothin’ like her home cookin’
Mmmmmm..It’s true.
Honestly I don’t know how ya do it.
You are the bomb dot com
And if they ask, “Is that Superwoman?”
I just reply and say, “No, that’s my Mom.”

chorus

Though I might not always see when you pray for me (Each day for me)
I know that God is on our side.
You support me and believe in me, you’re a superhero to our family.
To the rescue put on your cape and fly.

chorus

I don’t know what else to say, but I LOVE YOU.